Yeah, I'm working as of now...but I found out my contract might run out in mid-May. I could be just another out-of-luck writer-editor...again.
My contract has already been extended from two months to six months. I could choose to be optimistic about my chances of being repeatedly renewed: They like me and my work, but...
...today my blood pressure shot up to "high normal" -- beyond its usual teens-over-70s range. My head aches. My guts are churning. My body is wondering if I should spend money on the Arizona trip we're planning for the end of May. I could be unemployed -- and I don't qualify for unemployment compensation -- when we get back. Could I live with the regret if I cancel the trip...again?
Will the housing market ever recover enough for Stuart to take over some of the bread-winning? Would that ease my mind, or would I just continue to worry? People say, Don't think about it, you'll land on your feet, you always do. How do they know? I don't recall ever landing on my feet, besides worry comforts me that I'm doing what I can.
And how can I help but feel unloved if I get laid off again? Losing my job last year meant anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. My sense of entitlement -- I should be able to retire and enjoy my life by now -- is apparently not strong enough to overcome this jobless economy.
Outside the marketing and business communications I currently produce for a large client, there's nothing doing for writers -- we're mostly being laid off.
I have a book I could write, but unless Stuart gets work, I can't afford to write it and don't have much chance of hooking a publisher.
When I was laid off in 2009, I had high hopes of finding ways to make money writing Web content, editing e-newsletters. But almost nobody even acknowledged my applications, resumes and cover letters. I found only found part-time employment through friends/relatives.
As everyone knows, it's who you know -- and I've already burned through the few resources I have. So, if I get laid off again, I plan to just go to bed and not get up. The gig I have now just came to me -- so I'll wait for my next job under the covers.
That's my story...what's yours?
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